Getting Old is About Losing Control

That is an ominous title and sounds entirely negative. For the most part I guess it is. But it is different than I expected.

First, getting old is natural, inevitable and like most stages in life can be done poorly or well. The only way to avoid it is to die young…and I missed that opportunity. So my plan is to do it as successfully as I can. But I am not sure what that looks like.

When I looked for a definition of getting old I came across the slang usage. Like when you eat the same breakfast cereal for years. One morning you get up and think…”Thats getting old”. Other people, who’s life rubs up against mine on a daily basis, must think that about me. If they are younger and think like I once did they watch me, my unwillingness to act like I did in the past, or my inability to do so. It causes them to think I have become selfish or even mean. That is not the case…in most instances I simply don’t have the energy to act like something trivial is important.

Part of the process of getting old is about the diminishing ability to control our bodies, our finances, our time and in some cases even our mind. My perception was that I would just stay the same, physically and mentally and then one day get sick and “poof”. Instead, my strength started to fail. That changes how I approach everything. They say you loose muscle mass and it seems that no matter what I do I have no control over that. I don’t understand how at the same time I gain belly fat. If I have to loose something let it be that. The act of getting up from the couch or a chair is something to be planned. Doing so without the proper preparation might result in a face plant or worse. So, as I prepare to get up….those watching will sometimes move to help….how dare they? I got this.

Time seems to be working differently now.

Some things move so fast. For instance I saw a post on Facebook that was from 7 years ago and notice I have the same shirt on today. This is one of my better shirts. My grandchildren are almost grown and the two kittens we have are really old now. I used to make decisions about late night events (ballgames, partys, etc) based on how I would feel the next day at work. Now I often decline based on what time I will get to bed.

Other things move so slowly. You would think getting up at 6:00 AM would put me “ready to go” by 7:00 or so. Wrong…best time is about 8:30. There is coffee time with the reading of the E-news on my laptop. Followed by some kind of breakfast which will include pie if it is available. This is washed down with coffee and a spin around Facebook. If I look at the clock at around 7:30 I will hurry to the shower and dressing portion of the morning ritual. This would probably go faster if I turned the TV off. But… this is where I give feedback to the news media (talk to the TV). I know they value my opinion. I tell them that the stories they choose to cover are meaningless and the conclusions they draw biased and stupid.

Then I remember my pills….take all four six of them and am ready for “second breakfast”. This is the protein part….usually peanut butter and Ritz crackers. Somewhere during this time I declare myself “ready to go”. But am I really? And where to? I think…I used to make 6:30AM meetings after an hour in traffic.

Getting old…the mental part.

This part is the hardest. So much of our self worth is wrapped up in our career….which is a stupid valuation. I was in the same industry for most of my adult life and if you stick around long enough you make headway. Thru time I became boss….whatever that means and enjoyed being “important” to the process. Upon retirement….not so important. Becoming irrelevant is scary. This is a common fear as I talk to others and one I (we) must overcome to do this part right. Stay engaged. Everyone starts well….more important that we finish well.

So…if I am still alive when you read this…I’m doing the best I can. If not…well, I hope I stuck the landing…maybe a 7.